I smell a rat!!

Would you Mind moving along please?

I "shared a moment" with this long-legged lovely yesterday in a relaxing and thoroughly enjoyable drive in the Nairobi National Park. And by that I mean the giraffe not my friend and co-pilot Esther.

The giraffe had been having a mid-morning snackaroo when interrupted by the clanging of the diesel powered Land Cruiser as I "snuck up" on her. "Her or him" Esther queried? As looking between the animal's legs seemed both dangerous and overly intrusive at the time, I later looked it up and discovered that you can tell by the hairiness of the horns. Bald horns male -- hairy horns female. Apparently the horny hairy one is the female - good to know.

You lookin' at me? Huh - you lookin' at me!!!

This Buffalo seemed to feel the same way as the giraffe giving me the death stare as we edged up alongside. They are a bigger animal than you would think - and when you come up close it's pretty awesome. The most feared animal on the savanna by far. Coming across single male is near 100% disaster if on foot.

A couple Grants Gazelles posed beautifully for us before we drove to the top of the hill where Ascaries with bundukis (soldiers with guns) protected us so we could get out of the cruiser and gaze through powerful binocs to scan the savanna far below. From this vantage point three rhinos were visible as well as a host of other beautiful beasts. None of the 50+ lions were visible today but I'll be back to see them another time as the main gate is only 15 mins from the house. Although with lions, the hairy horny one is definitely the male. 😉

Small side note - many things I have taken for granted are a source of frustration in a developing country like this. The bank - as an example - accepted money from my employer in the first week of April - but it took 4 weeks to get any out.

The conversation went something like this;

Layne:  why can't I access my money
Bank dudette: because the account is frozen
Layne: but you accepted the money into the account?
Bank dudette: Oh yes - we take money when it's frozen
Layne: (now puzzled)  - how do I get my money out?
Bank Dudettte: Well sir -- you'll have to re-apply

Grrrrrrrrrrr.

And at the park - I don't have a stamp in my passport to show I work here in Africa - I only have a piece of paper because the stamping office is currently closed due to Covid19.

The conversation at the gate went something like this.

Layne: I live here
Gate dude: yes I see that - but you don't have a stamp
Layne: I can't get the stamp as the office closed
Gate dude: yes I know
Layne: Yes but I have the piece of paper that says the same thing
Gate dude: Yes I see that but no stamp so please pay 10x the normal rate.

Grrrrrrrrrrr

Murder in the Kitchen

Waking early one morning this week I was surprised to find a big fucking rat on the couch. As I prefer a rat free environment, I immediately felt both concerned and relieved that while the BFR had in fact entered my home during the night, he had been quickly dispatched by Sunny and Lucky and then placed lovingly on the couch for my inspection and congratulatory remarks.

At first I thought it was a cat that had wandered in mistakenly and unaware of the canine protection unit assigned to my detail  - but no it was in fact a 3kg rat that I suspect would have gone into the freezer and made off with the whole chickens kept there.  Great work Sunny and Lucky - I shall not starve.

As Sunny and Lucky solemnly accepted their thanks and praise my attention turned to the kitchen that now looked more like a crime scene than country kitchen. With the blood splattered walls, all that was missing was the yellow tape, chalk outline of the BFR and the CSI guys in white suits to make it completely legit.

A planned pizza party for my friend Yvonne and her 2 year old son Jake, had to be cancelled today due to significant increases in the number of Covid19 folks infected in her area.

That's a bit of a bummer  -- but good news is that my friend Cliff Cyr has generously parted with a significant amount of his hard earned money to help Yvonne and Jake out. A million thank you's to Cliff for his generosity. It will make a big difference in their lives.

My hope is that with a bit of help, we can continue to support Yvonne and Jake as they make their way along. I have pledged to assist with Jake's school which will start in January and if anyone is interested in helping out a bit - please e-interact a bit o' cashola to: laynemahon@live.com

Thanks for reading ....Layno!!!